What I Wish I Knew Earlier as a Mother
Know yourself, your parenting style, your spouse's parenting style, and what boundaries you wish to uphold.
Have a game plan for the stages of baby / toddler nutrition and eating habits. "Wellness Mama" & "Feeding Littles," helped me a ton with recipes and reduced power struggles with breast feeding, baby led weaning, family meals, tooth brushing, potty training, etc.
Meet everyone's needs with a clear division of household chores.
Come up with a support system especially if you are grappling with stages of colic / purple crying period, sleep deprivation, illness, tantrums.
Learn how technology can influence child's brain and behavior. What lessons do you want your little one to absorb? How stimulated to you want your little one to be? How soon do you want them to take a nap / go to sleep? Research screen light and melatonin production. Look for low stimulating shows to play towards the end of screen time / transitions to avoid meltdowns. Low stimulating shows we like on Youtube are Little Einsteins, Little Bear, Curious George, Max & Ruby, Franklin, Reading Rainbow, Eric Carl, Postman Pat, Bedtime Lullabies, 4D Underwater, airplanes / trains (real life), animal / nature shows,the old version of Thomas the Tank. For fitness, learning, & music we like Little Fox "Meet the Animals" / "Site Words", "Super Simple Songs / Play", "Caitie's Classroom" "Monkey Mechanic", some "Blues Clues" /"Blippi" - I skip over the shows with too much bright animation/ CGI and pick real life looking shows from newer releases. On Netflix, we enjoy Trash Truck, Puffin Rock, Llama Llama, Sea of Love, Shaun the Sheep.
Try to give at least 15 minutes of undivided attention a day to fill your child's attention and power buckets. Emotional connection helps reduce tantrums, whining, negative behaviors. Your undivided attention reassures that you still love and care about them.
Reach out for help. Build a support network. Take a break when needed even if it is closing your eyes, locking yourself in the bathroom for a minute while your child is safe to get back to your center. Find a nanny or someone to give your reprieve. Recognize the signs of care taker burnout; take action before you reach your limit. Go on date nights, friend meet ups, or just spend time with yourself so you do not feel you loose yourself and connection with others.
Focus on setting up your room for success rather than a nursery especially for the first 12 months. Learn about proper co-sleeping techniques if you do happen to fall asleep with the baby. It's good to do it in a safe manner and make sure you're set up for it.
Buy stuff as you go along with the stages of child development. Often, children are more interested in real life objects especially under the age of 3.
Consider looking at different approaches like Reggio and Montessori to prepare your child up for independence. Instead of spending money on one and done toys, research how to involve your little one in everyday tasks, look for classic, open ended toys / tools for play. Engage your little one in activities you can enjoy too like being outside, engaging in sensory play (at the beach or in the kitchen / yard / bath etc., Invest in your own understanding of child development and conflict resolution.
Embrace messes. There will be times when you feel pulled in so many directions especially during the newborn phase and potty training phase.
Schedule as little on your calendar as possible.
Surround yourself with people who support and uplift you.
Surrender your expectations. Be patient with yourself and others. Ask yourself if any of your concerns will matter in the long run. Don't sweat the small stuff like how to fit into your old clothes but rather focus on your own journey to well-being / vitality.
Take it easy with your body's recovery. Be gentle with yourself. Prioritize recovery care with sleep, nutrition, socialization, outdoor time, and fitness that is restorative like pelvic floor, diastisis physical therapy, osteopathic or chiropractor care adjustments.
Connect with a mid wife, doula, lactation consultant. Get full lab work including iron and hormone levels especially if you notice hair loss, low energy / mood, pale / dry skin.
Read as many books as you can especially if you decide to breastfeed, befriend pregnancy stages, birth, and post partum life transitions. I personally enjoyed the art therapy / matresence insights from a book called Birthing from Within & hypnobabies audio program.
