My Birth Story

16 August 2020

12:09 AM

On 15 August 2020, Taylor and I spent time at Local Coffee. I had a delicious sausage and egg breakfast bagel sandwich instead of a drink since I had an insatiable appetite. I added notes to my parent-to-be's journal, meanwhile Taylor studied for his private pilot course. I decided to take a break and walk around HEB after an hour of sitting. I had a few of my snacks in the car like a protein bar and a seaweed snack. I also bought myself roses and a few additional snacks from HEB. I felt like I needed to lean on a cart since I felt some pressure in my lower back walking around HEB. An HEB customer came up to me and said, “God bless you and your baby.” His comment was a highlight of my afternoon. This was the second time an HEB customer said that to me.

For lunch, Taylor and I went to Lion and the Rose. While walking to the restaurant, I told Taylor to make sure he is ready to go by having his hospital bag packed since EJ may come any day. We split Scotch eggs and a sampler platter, called Tour of London.

Around 5 PM, I started off by making peanut butter cookie balls. Taylor helped dip them in chocolate since I needed to rest leaning forward on the yoga ball that was leaned up against the couch. I felt intense pressure in my lower body and back. I then asked Taylor to help put the tens unit pads on my back to help easy any discomfort.

Then, we had take-out bison burgers from Hopdoddy Burger Bar with in-laws around 7 PM. Around 7:35 PM, I excused myself to run to the restroom. Taylor brought the rest of my bison burger meal up along with a Topo Chico. I drank three water bottles as well. I heard 80’s music playing in the bathroom hallway upstairs. My mother in-law was busy painting the guest bedroom.

Meanwhile, I listened to birthing affirmations as I sat in the bathtub. Taylor brought me peanut butter cookies and my leftover bison burger to eat. The peanut butter cookies were too rich for me to eat at that time. I felt a little nauseous. I went through another 3 bottles of water.

I told my doulas via text that today may be the special day. My doula, advised I put the tens machine on again after my shower. She had another client who was about to give birth, so I reached out to my back-up doula, who was on stand-by via zoom. I also asked a friend to text me an image she shared the day prior that represents peace. Then, I took a long Epsom salt scrub shower. I leaned on the wall and let the water hit my lower back as I imagined the word peace along with an image of trees and light shining through that looked like an angel or a dove. I also imagined an orange, warm light traveling down to ease the sensations. I did a few warrior 1 and 2 yoga poses while using the shower walls and tub as a balancing aid.

I tracked the start of one pressure wave to the start time of the next pressure wave.

I waited until they were 3-4 minutes apart.

I started tracking my pressure wave sensations as the following:

906-9:11 PM 917 PM - 927 PM

945 PM - 9:50 PM

1020 1021 PM -1032 PM

Afterwards, I transitioned to a cat/cow pose near the bath mat. The pose helped release bowel movements and eased pressure off of my lower back. I also sat backward on a seat to help release and ease tension. Then, I called Taylor from downstairs to come up. I felt a little teary-eyed. I knew I was in the second stage if not towards the third stage of birth. I was afraid that it was too soon. I am at 38 weeks and I wanted to make it to 40 weeks for preparation and for EJ to have more time growing in the womb. I wanted him to be a healthy birth weight and was not sure how he’d come out at 38 weeks.

I told Taylor that I saw some discharge while in the bathroom. Perhaps, my water broke when I felt like I had to run to the restroom in the middle of dinner and was dripping a little. Taylor packed my things into the car. He helped me put on my black and white dress and leak proof underwear. Taylor also put the tens unit on. I also noticed my pressure wave sensations were about two minutes apart. I called my midwife as Taylor was putting my bags in the car. I spoke with my midwife, who left it up to me if I want to come in and she mentioned that it sounded like I was in labor.

Taylor came to the upstairs bathroom area after packing my items in the car. He helped slow dance me from our room down the stairs. Taylor & my mother in-law shared encouraging words as I walked down the stairs. I felt a little tense sensation between walking down each step and needed to take lots of breaks. I also made a few sounds like ah when I felt we were going too fast. I told them that I felt like I was going to throw up. My mother in-law reminded me to remember my breathing and what my doula taught me.

Taylor and I arrived at the wrong door at first. We were redirected to the main emergency room door. We checked in the hospital around 10 pm. I gave my military ID, shared my pre-filled out pre-admission form, and answered a few questions. By the grace of God, my phone somehow connected to my speaker system that was in my suitcase. My Hypnobabies birthing day meditations playlist played on a speaker that was connected in my suitcase the entire time. I spent a few minutes breathing and leaning over the bed. I passed a few light stools before they checked my cervix. I leaned over the table for a while before I got up on the table. The nurse called my midwife to notify her that there is no cervix showing and that I am ready.

During transition to the bed, my mask they handed me fell on the floor. The nurse asked me to put it on and I said can’t, I am laboring. Plus, grabbing my mask from the floor is germy & my body sensations were too intense to just bend over. She wheeled me down the hallway on a bed. I was sitting up on my knees and pressing down on the handlebars on the side of the rolling bed. It did not feel good to lay down. I felt I needed to be in an upright position or leaning forward position for most ease from lower back and pelvic floor sensations. The nurse was concerned I may fall over so she went slowly.

I entered the spacious room that had a brown rocking chair. I remember leaning over the bed in a halfway lift yoga pose. Erin, midwife, suggested I go to the bed. I wish I didn’t and used the floor and the bed as a prop more. It felt too intense getting up on the bed. I asked for a yoga ball and a peanut ball to lean on to relieve sensations of lower pelvic floor pressure and to be in a more relaxed position so my cervix could open more easily. Taylor held onto my hand as I leaned over the yoga peanut ball in a kneeling position on the bed.

I remember listening to Taylor say things like, "You got this, you crunchy mama!" His encouragement and sweet words made me smile. I tried my best not to push too much because I did not want to tear. Instead, I would breathe normally each time I felt pressure like I had to use the restroom. I felt pressure in my lower back but felt the tens machine and my mantra meditations of the word “peace” & “down and out” with my eyes closed helped relieve some of the intense sensations. I also asked Erin if she could offer a perineum massage to reduce tearing. It felt very intense. Erin asked me if I wanted to feel his head crowning. I felt EJ’s smooth, seal-like head and slick hair squeeze out from my opening. I remember Taylor saying, "Push, push, push.” Now it was my time to breathe into my next push and move EJ’’s body out. It all happened so fast. I wanted to slow down and savor the moment more.

I birthed the placenta within 30 minutes. Erin let me keep EJ’s cord attached. It is to help ease him into this world in a smoother manner. I rubbed the slippery vernix into EJ’s skin to nourish his gut and immune system. Taylor cut the cord once it stopped pulsing. He seemed very excited to cut the cord. we even got a picture of him cutting the cord from a nurse.

I felt a little sore and was told that I had a second-degree tear. Erin said that she was going to double stitch me and give me some anesthesia. Taylor let me continue to squeeze his hand for this too. I felt the love when EJ’s precious arms hugged me and his cute fingers wrapped around my finger. I remember nurses coming in to do tests to make sure EJ was ok. EJ came out as an 8.5 ounce, inch bundle of joy.

Later on, I got a shot of pitocin to prevent hemorrhaging. Erin and the nurse said that I would now need an IV because I had a 3rd-degree hemorrhage and the shot was taking too long. I remember feeling pressure and a gush each time Erin pressed on my stomach to move a blood clot out. I must have had five blood clots. Meanwhile, Hypnobabies continued to play in the background. I remember Erin commenting on Hypnobabies hypnoanesthesia orange light visualization.

The aftercare felt longer than the birthing experience and was more shocking. I felt so light-headed. I stayed in the birthing room for a night as they would assist me with getting up to use the restroom every so often. I was told that my hemoglobin was at a 7 when it should be at a 12.

After the birth of EJ, the placenta, and the after birth care, we switched the playlist to Pandora Disney movie soundtracks. I like the songs from Moana as well as Tarzan. “You’ll be in my heart” from Tarzan is a very fitting song sung from father to son. I also asked for as many tests as possible to be done in the room instead of EJ being taken elsewhere for bonding time. I felt so happy that EJ was able to breastfeed crawl to me within the first thirty minutes after birth. I noticed that it was easier for EJ to latch on the left side than on the right side. For some reason, it felt more tricky nursing on my right side than giving birth.

The next day in the post-operation room, a lactation consultant had me pump on the right breast and feed him with a syringe and my pinky for the right side after he nursed on the left just to make sure I was doing 20-30 minutes on both sides every few hours. Taylor recorded all of the feedings, pinky / syringe fed, soothed EJ, and changed his diapers. He encouraged me along the way with breastfeeding too. He offered me water and snacks as well. I also received a mountain of pillows from the nurses to use. It helped position EJ for an optimal latch. EJ also received light therapy for 2 days since he had some jaundice. I was also asked to take the Covid-19 nose swab test. I did not understand the point of the test since I was a day in and already birthed EJ. I took the test just because I was too tired to argue.

We stayed in the hospital for three days, until 18 August. I am thankful that Taylor brought Indian chicken masala and naan from India Palace for me. Everyone who walked in the room said that it smelled good. I also drank a refreshing gladiator protein smoothie from Smoothie King. In addition, I ate hospital breakfast meals; oatmeal, omelets, and fruit were my go-to choices. I also tried the hospital steak and asparagus vegetable meal while Taylor had Chicken fried steak. Surprisingly, St. Luke’s hospital food was not bad.

On the third day, my midwife, Lauren, checked-in and delivered my placenta encapsulation. I remember her walking in as I was all teary eyed because I just spoke with a pediatrician who was going to do a circumcision for EJ that morning. I asked her what the risks were and her experience. The pediatrician on the phone could tell that I was hesitant about the procedure. They suggested to Taylor that we wait because of my hesitation. I felt less alone with my feelings about circumcision when Lauren said that she did not get her son circumcised and that she would let him make the decision when he was older. We received a referral for the procedure just in case we decided to move forward with the procedure in the future.

I remember listening to George Strait on the car ride home with EJ. We swung by Whataburger for a snack. It felt so refreshing to step outside of the car and to get fresh air with EJ. I remember putting my feet in the grass and feeling more human again. I came home to my in-laws house full of blue decorations and beautiful sunflowers from my sister-in-law! We felt so loved! The first week, three days spent in the hospital felt like a huge leap of growth through all the grit of birthing, breastfeeding, and just trying to keep EJ happy, healthy, and alive. This was just the beginning of our new-parenting marathon.