Breastfeeding during COVID-19

I give all parents props out there for keeping their kiddos alive. Gosh! I did not realize how much strategy and foresight it takes. I recently became a new mom during this infamous COVID-19 year. I thought I was well prepared for childbirth but postpartum, 4th trimester hit me over the head. I felt like my body was recovering way longer than I expected. I did not realize how much effort it takes to lift a child and comfort them for breastfeeding when your abdominal wall does not even feel like it is put together. Plus, you are wearing granny panties that have to be changed like every other hour. It is also not a sexy feeling having cracked and bleeding nipples the first few weeks as well as some good old fashioned missed latch bite marks. I’d be in tears trying to fight the pain of breastfeeding like someone is pressing on a bruise. I also had one breast that developed a good old fashioned milk blister. I tried rubbing epsom salt to ease the discomfort. I’d often worry whether or not I am producing enough milk and if this breastfeeding thing would ever get easier. Thankfully, I don't have to concern myself so much about cracked or bleeding nipples, but lately I have felt like a scared sick mom when my son would only eat for three minutes arch his back and squiggle, pass gas, and / or cry and then fall asleep without really ever getting a solid feed or latch except perhaps once a day. I was told not to worry since he is gaining weight quite well. I was also told why don’t I just give him a bottle of my refrigerated breast milk.

I remembered learning that my milk supply adjusts based on how often the baby feeds from me. Every instance he is hungry is my opportunity to build just the right amount of milk supply for him so I do not have an over or under supply. Yes, I have tried pumping when he does not feed from me. Yet, I do not want pumping to replace my time with him or not being able to give him as much of a supply after my pumping session just in case he changes his mind and decides that he is ready to eat. Plus, I tend to oversupply especially in the mornings which makes him fussy if the let down is faster than he can handle, my little one still likes to eat every few hours from the start of the last feed which gives me little time to burp, change a diaper, play, and then get him down for a nap so I can perhaps have a quick 5 minute lunch.

I’ve been told that he will just use me as a pacifier if I let him snack to sleep. This is the only time he eats! He wakes up, refuses, wants to play and then decides to eat and then sleep. I am afraid to wake him up with a burp so I often have him in the side lying position and hope that not too much air gets in to upset him. I also realize that he is fussier if I eat anything too acidic like white bean soup which has a tomato base broth. I try to use the haaka as much as I can for the other breast. It helps catch the let down. I then store the extra breastmilk in another container as a backup supply so I do not have to pump.

How do other moms do it out there with feeding their lil one? Please share!

I do, however, have these magical moments where I feed into his cues and catch him before he wails in desperate need for food. Often, he becomes more active in his kicks, makes monkey sounds, and displays strong facial expressions like sticking out his tongue, sucks vigorously at his hands,and turns his head from side to side. He latches well since there is a sweet sucking rhythm sound that does not sound like he is clicking, gasping, or coughing from too much let down. His torso is turned sideways so we are belly to belly. Our breath is in tandem. He pauses for a moment and makes a sweet purring sound. We are cuddled up in a fetal position. His bottom hand caresses his food supply and his top hand rests on top of it. His eyes are closed and peaceful looking. It is moments like these that make the struggles to breastfeed worth it.

@Wanderingwomanphotography, Carly Photographer